For starters, I've been reading Jen Hatmaker, Shane Claiborne, and the Bible. I highly recommend all of them (especially the last one!!). If you don't want to expose your thought process to change--don't read them (but really, do read them--because change is good!).
My life is full of distractions--this is nothing new. This is also not good for this ADD guy! Getting the job completed has never been an issue for me, but staying the course has. I often get sidetracked, and then realize that I'm off task. Distractions. They get me every time (as I'm writing this, I've answered two phone calls and responded to someone at the door).
As I've read the above books, I've come to the conclusion that we, the Church (especially in the U.S.A.), easily get distracted. We tend to get WAAAAAY off course--a lot! We put our focus on building projects, stewardship campaigns, membership numbers, curriculum selection, bad preachers (like the one's that talk prosperity or universalism all the day long), programs, defending our faith against homosexuality or defending it for certain businesses (like that all chicken restaurant, or that craft store), and distraction after distraction after distraction...
Not that some of the above aren't necessary, but none of them is the task. They are all distractions that keep us from the task (this is why I say the devil has an easy job in America--we get distracted too easily).
The task: Jesus says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." He also says, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations."
"Love" and "Go." That's the task. So simple, so pure. Yet, we would rather fill our lives with so many distractions that we don't have time to build loving relationships that could possibly produce salvation-like fruit, and we definitely don't have time to "go" anywhere other than where our overloaded schedule says.
I'm all for slowing down, for unplugging, and all that--but that's not the world we live in. My challenge to you is to simply stay on task, Church. Among the busyness--1) love God and love others (BTW: "others" includes everyone. This does not mean you condone all behavior. It does mean that you love--all people). 2) Be willing to "go" in a different direction if God directs you. This also requires that we listen to HIM.
So, Church (believers, Christians, Christ-followers, whatever we call ourselves now), do that!
Go love, before you get distracted.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Friday, October 31, 2014
The Power Of A Story
My mornings usually (meaning...sometimes they don't) involve reading. My mind is fresh, or freshly jump started with several cups of coffee. Lately, I've been getting a good hour of reading in before the inevitable occurs...."DADDY"!!!???!!! penetrates the solitude of my environment, and reading is over.
Today, I sprinted upstairs to the side of my sweet three year old daughter's bed to assist in the "getting up" process. She typically wants to get right up, and have me carry her downstairs. Today was a bit different. She invited me in for a cuddle (I must take advantage of these offers, as they will disappear over time). Our dialogue:
Are you cold? I ask.
No, I'm scared. She replies.
Scared of what? I ask.
Scared of the dark. She answers.
I understand, sweetheart. There was a time when I was scared of the dark too, but you're ok. I assured her.
Daddy, tell me a story of when you were scared of the dark. She says.
I proceeded to share some stories of my childhood--times when the dark was scary, and how I was afraid that "things" would get me. I assured her that nothing ever "got me," and that the dark ended up not being as scary as I once had thought.
I find it interesting that my assurance that everything was okay was not enough. It was the story that comforted her. It was me being authentic and vulnerable. She didn't want my opinion on the dark. She wanted to know my experience with it. It was a sweet moment! It was real relationship.
We live in an over opinionated culture, one with very little depth and few stories (even though we all have one). When is the last time you shared your story? When is the last time you left your opinion on the shelf, and were vulnerable with your story? Who in your life is "afraid of the dark," and simply needs your story to be comforted? What doors could you open be telling your story?
Telling your story, being vulnerable and authentic, builds trust. Trust is what I want my daughter to have in me--because there are other parts of my story that I pray she will want to hear too.
"My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long--though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come" Psalm 71:15-18
Today, I sprinted upstairs to the side of my sweet three year old daughter's bed to assist in the "getting up" process. She typically wants to get right up, and have me carry her downstairs. Today was a bit different. She invited me in for a cuddle (I must take advantage of these offers, as they will disappear over time). Our dialogue:
Are you cold? I ask.
No, I'm scared. She replies.
Scared of what? I ask.
Scared of the dark. She answers.
I understand, sweetheart. There was a time when I was scared of the dark too, but you're ok. I assured her.
Daddy, tell me a story of when you were scared of the dark. She says.
I proceeded to share some stories of my childhood--times when the dark was scary, and how I was afraid that "things" would get me. I assured her that nothing ever "got me," and that the dark ended up not being as scary as I once had thought.
I find it interesting that my assurance that everything was okay was not enough. It was the story that comforted her. It was me being authentic and vulnerable. She didn't want my opinion on the dark. She wanted to know my experience with it. It was a sweet moment! It was real relationship.
We live in an over opinionated culture, one with very little depth and few stories (even though we all have one). When is the last time you shared your story? When is the last time you left your opinion on the shelf, and were vulnerable with your story? Who in your life is "afraid of the dark," and simply needs your story to be comforted? What doors could you open be telling your story?
Telling your story, being vulnerable and authentic, builds trust. Trust is what I want my daughter to have in me--because there are other parts of my story that I pray she will want to hear too.
"My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long--though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come" Psalm 71:15-18
Friday, April 20, 2012
Leaders are Readers
I'm not sure it can be said enough. If you are in a position of leadership, or are on track to a leadership role--you had better be reading. If you are not reading, your time at the top is more limited than you think.
Reading is growth. Remember John Maxwell's Law of the Lid? If you don't grow you put a lid on the opportunity for growth for those you lead. Reading is one of the highest priorities you should have as a leader.
Here is my current list: Generation iY, Entreleadership, Managing the Millennials, Co-Active Coaching, The Traveler's Gift, Who, Gifted Hands: the Ben Carson Story, and Quitter.
That's a very short list, but it keeps me focused on growing.
What are you reading? If you're not, let me encourage you to start. Simply carve out 30 minutes a day to begin with, and increase from there.
Don't put a cap on your abilities as a leader. Read!
"Here is the treasure chest of the world--the public library, or a bookstore" -Dr. Ben Carson
Reading is growth. Remember John Maxwell's Law of the Lid? If you don't grow you put a lid on the opportunity for growth for those you lead. Reading is one of the highest priorities you should have as a leader.
Here is my current list: Generation iY, Entreleadership, Managing the Millennials, Co-Active Coaching, The Traveler's Gift, Who, Gifted Hands: the Ben Carson Story, and Quitter.
That's a very short list, but it keeps me focused on growing.
What are you reading? If you're not, let me encourage you to start. Simply carve out 30 minutes a day to begin with, and increase from there.
Don't put a cap on your abilities as a leader. Read!
"Here is the treasure chest of the world--the public library, or a bookstore" -Dr. Ben Carson
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Fertilize and Prune
According to Wikipedia:
Fertilizer (or fertiliser) is any organic or inorganic material of natural or synthetic origin (other than liming materials) that is added to a soil to supply one or more plant nutrients essential to the growth of plants.
Pruning is a horticultural practice involving the selective removal of parts of a plant, such as branches, buds, or roots. Reasons to prune plants include deadwood removal, shaping (by controlling or directing growth), improving or maintaining health.
Imagine a garden, full of succulent fruits and vegetables. Look at the detail of the river rock wall surrounding this stunning masterpiece. Think about the effort that went in to creating such a productive field of beauty. Can you see the gardener with his pruning shears as he delicately tends to each plant? Look at the elaborate fertilization system in place. It delivers just to right amount of nutrients to ensure proper maturation.
Now imagine the same garden without the gardener or the fertilization system. Look how weed ridden it is. The rock wall is crumbling, there are no signs of fruits or vegetables. I wonder how long it's been since someone actually tended this garden. How long will it survive? How will it and who will it benefit in this condition?
In reference to relationships, each of us has a garden. We fill our garden with all sorts of people. The question is, do we take the time to fertilize and prune our gardens? Are our relationships like the first or second image described above? Do our relationships produce fruit, or are they full of weeds?
Seven steps to a productive "relationship garden".
1) Always meet new people. You never know if they are an "essential nutrient" to you and others you know.
2) Set expectations with others. The relationship must have meaning deeper than weather or sports talk. How can you mutually benefit from the relationship?
3) Have some seasonal relationships. These come and go, but they always produce growth (a mentoring relationship).
4) Don't be afraid to "prune" out bad branches. Remember that pruning maintains health and directs growth. To be blunt: life is too short to get bogged down trying to revive a bad relationship at the expense of many great relationships. It's okay to be selective. Don't be a jerk, be honest with others -- it may do you both some good.
5) It's not all about you. Be like the gardener, have a committed heart and a desire to impact others.
6) Make time. Whether it is a spouse, child, colleague, or old friend, the relationship will not survive if not properly tended to.
7) Share what you know. A master gardener usually has an apprentice. Teach others the skills necessary to cultivate productive relationships.
What are some other ways to improve and build healthy relationships? Please share your thoughts.
Fertilizer (or fertiliser) is any organic or inorganic material of natural or synthetic origin (other than liming materials) that is added to a soil to supply one or more plant nutrients essential to the growth of plants.
Pruning is a horticultural practice involving the selective removal of parts of a plant, such as branches, buds, or roots. Reasons to prune plants include deadwood removal, shaping (by controlling or directing growth), improving or maintaining health.
Imagine a garden, full of succulent fruits and vegetables. Look at the detail of the river rock wall surrounding this stunning masterpiece. Think about the effort that went in to creating such a productive field of beauty. Can you see the gardener with his pruning shears as he delicately tends to each plant? Look at the elaborate fertilization system in place. It delivers just to right amount of nutrients to ensure proper maturation.
Now imagine the same garden without the gardener or the fertilization system. Look how weed ridden it is. The rock wall is crumbling, there are no signs of fruits or vegetables. I wonder how long it's been since someone actually tended this garden. How long will it survive? How will it and who will it benefit in this condition?
In reference to relationships, each of us has a garden. We fill our garden with all sorts of people. The question is, do we take the time to fertilize and prune our gardens? Are our relationships like the first or second image described above? Do our relationships produce fruit, or are they full of weeds?
Seven steps to a productive "relationship garden".
1) Always meet new people. You never know if they are an "essential nutrient" to you and others you know.
2) Set expectations with others. The relationship must have meaning deeper than weather or sports talk. How can you mutually benefit from the relationship?
3) Have some seasonal relationships. These come and go, but they always produce growth (a mentoring relationship).
4) Don't be afraid to "prune" out bad branches. Remember that pruning maintains health and directs growth. To be blunt: life is too short to get bogged down trying to revive a bad relationship at the expense of many great relationships. It's okay to be selective. Don't be a jerk, be honest with others -- it may do you both some good.
5) It's not all about you. Be like the gardener, have a committed heart and a desire to impact others.
6) Make time. Whether it is a spouse, child, colleague, or old friend, the relationship will not survive if not properly tended to.
7) Share what you know. A master gardener usually has an apprentice. Teach others the skills necessary to cultivate productive relationships.
What are some other ways to improve and build healthy relationships? Please share your thoughts.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Politico is not influencing positively
Where are all the statesMEN? What is politics teaching young Americans about honor, respect, the value of man, the list goes on and on??
I barely recall a time when being an elected official was an honorable opportunity. A man had the ability to make a positive difference. Now, the political machine takes a man and wrings every ounce of goodness out of him.
Why is it that when our three year old acts out we reprimand him, but we don't show him that we have the same expectation of our elected officials? We're teaching that disciple is temporary.
Let me say this--discipline and selflessness are required for any amount of success in any area of life.
If you want a successful marriage, you must be disciplined to love unconditionally.
If you want a successful business, you must be disciplined to select great talent, train and develop, think outside the box, etc.
If you want a successful portfolio, you must be disciplined to understand the changing markets.
If you want to be successful at knowing your Maker,......well discipline's root is disciple?
Maybe I live in a hole, but I still believe that a man can be married to the same woman forever, can be an amazing and engaged father, and can have a positive influence on every single person he comes in contact with.
There is no greater time than right now, leaders, to create more of these men!
The question is, are you disciplined and selfless enough to create them?
I barely recall a time when being an elected official was an honorable opportunity. A man had the ability to make a positive difference. Now, the political machine takes a man and wrings every ounce of goodness out of him.
Why is it that when our three year old acts out we reprimand him, but we don't show him that we have the same expectation of our elected officials? We're teaching that disciple is temporary.
Let me say this--discipline and selflessness are required for any amount of success in any area of life.
If you want a successful marriage, you must be disciplined to love unconditionally.
If you want a successful business, you must be disciplined to select great talent, train and develop, think outside the box, etc.
If you want a successful portfolio, you must be disciplined to understand the changing markets.
If you want to be successful at knowing your Maker,......well discipline's root is disciple?
Maybe I live in a hole, but I still believe that a man can be married to the same woman forever, can be an amazing and engaged father, and can have a positive influence on every single person he comes in contact with.
There is no greater time than right now, leaders, to create more of these men!
The question is, are you disciplined and selfless enough to create them?
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Getting Better
Are you a leader? Do you see your job as developing others? Do you use words such as growth minded, invest in, develop, lead, teamwork, etc?
If you answered "YES" to the above then you should be applying these ideals daily AND you should be getting better at them daily.
I once worked with individuals and have known others who religiously taught leadership, so much so that they neglected to apply the same principles to themselves. It is an easy trap to fall into. Leaders should never talk so much that they don't walk.
In his book The 7 Levels of Change Rolf Smith writes "to get better results, you have to do things better." Oftentimes as leaders, we get so hung up on the better results that we forget to "doing" part.
Statistics show that it takes 10,000 hours of "doing" to become an expert at something. That's A LOT of hours. Think about the best professional athletes out there. What do they do after the golf round, track meet, or football game? They practice! How serious are you about practice, leader?
How does a leader practice? Reading. We all knew that was the answer, because we're really good at having the answer. What we're not all really good at is the "doing" or the action part.
If you're not reading, you're not growing. If YOU are not growing, you're definitely not growing others. When you reach the top, the leadership role---when you're the captain of your organization--you're expected to be the expert (remember---10,000 hours = expert).
Back to Smith's book. How are you doing things better? Where are you carving out time to get better at becoming a better "doer". I bet you can find 15 hours in a week to invest in becoming an expert.
The question is, are you willing to be a better leader?
If you answered "YES" to the above then you should be applying these ideals daily AND you should be getting better at them daily.
I once worked with individuals and have known others who religiously taught leadership, so much so that they neglected to apply the same principles to themselves. It is an easy trap to fall into. Leaders should never talk so much that they don't walk.
In his book The 7 Levels of Change Rolf Smith writes "to get better results, you have to do things better." Oftentimes as leaders, we get so hung up on the better results that we forget to "doing" part.
Statistics show that it takes 10,000 hours of "doing" to become an expert at something. That's A LOT of hours. Think about the best professional athletes out there. What do they do after the golf round, track meet, or football game? They practice! How serious are you about practice, leader?
How does a leader practice? Reading. We all knew that was the answer, because we're really good at having the answer. What we're not all really good at is the "doing" or the action part.
If you're not reading, you're not growing. If YOU are not growing, you're definitely not growing others. When you reach the top, the leadership role---when you're the captain of your organization--you're expected to be the expert (remember---10,000 hours = expert).
Back to Smith's book. How are you doing things better? Where are you carving out time to get better at becoming a better "doer". I bet you can find 15 hours in a week to invest in becoming an expert.
The question is, are you willing to be a better leader?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Change
Often times we hear the word change and we stall. Change strikes fear. Change causes us to question whether something was "wrong" to begin with. Why fix it if it ain't broke? Right?
Though we fear change, we are also very curious about it. The new year is always filled with grand allusions of the changes we will make in our lives. We get enthralled with the idea of changing--but we don't.
On the other hand we recognize that change is needed. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We believe it is insane to not change, (I need to exercise more, eat better, read more, work less, etc....or else "x" will happen....) yet are insane because we do not.
Why do we do this.... all the time?
I believe that "change" strikes fear because we think it requires some complete overhaul of who we are, though most haven't even defined that yet. So therein lies the greater issue for 2012. Who are you? What are your values?
Before you waste time chasing a new year "change", take the time to define YOU. Once you define who you are and determined your values, you will be able to set clearer--more achievable goals. For once, put the cart behind the horse, you'll have a great success rate!
When you've finally defined you by establishing the non-negotiable values that make you up--you can focus on change. Change then becomes growth, not an abandonment of your values (which is what we feared to begin with). Values are constant, the change in your life should be filtered through those values.
Be resolute to set values first in 2012, then determine what "change" needs to take place.
Though we fear change, we are also very curious about it. The new year is always filled with grand allusions of the changes we will make in our lives. We get enthralled with the idea of changing--but we don't.
On the other hand we recognize that change is needed. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We believe it is insane to not change, (I need to exercise more, eat better, read more, work less, etc....or else "x" will happen....) yet are insane because we do not.
Why do we do this.... all the time?
I believe that "change" strikes fear because we think it requires some complete overhaul of who we are, though most haven't even defined that yet. So therein lies the greater issue for 2012. Who are you? What are your values?
Before you waste time chasing a new year "change", take the time to define YOU. Once you define who you are and determined your values, you will be able to set clearer--more achievable goals. For once, put the cart behind the horse, you'll have a great success rate!
When you've finally defined you by establishing the non-negotiable values that make you up--you can focus on change. Change then becomes growth, not an abandonment of your values (which is what we feared to begin with). Values are constant, the change in your life should be filtered through those values.
Be resolute to set values first in 2012, then determine what "change" needs to take place.
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